What should I do with things that I don’t want to sell?

Boots

In the second of this series of mini-posts, I’m addressing a question I received from my friend, Emma. She asked, “Any tips or advice on where I can get rid of stuff I don’t want to just throw away but don’t have the time or energy to sell on eBay?”

Well, you already know that I’ve taken a raincheck on eBay, so these are my suggestions.

Offer to friends and family

When you’re having a clear-out, friends and family members will often swoop in and take things you might have otherwise given away. They say charity begins at home and it’s great to be able to help others that are close to you. What you don’t need might just be what someone else was considering buying (especially when it comes to kitchen gadgets, for example).

Donate

Charities – especially those that support families in need – will often welcome household items that you might otherwise find difficult to shift. We’ve recently become aware of a couple of charities in the Midlands, including Loaves n Fishes. This organisation helps people in poverty or those who need help to get back on their feet after a family break-up. It’s gratifying to know that you can help others just by giving stuff away that no longer serves you.

Re-use, recycle

Don’t forget your local recycling centre; it will inevitably have a ‘tip shop’ where you can donate items that your local charity shop might not choose to stock. So, when you take your items for recycling, you can also leave other things that are still serviceable but which might not be accepted in a high-street charity store.

A penny in the jar

If you have something for which you’d still like to get a few pennies, see if there’s a local community Facebook group that you can join. Ours is Things for Sale in Kenilworth, which attracts interest from towns and villages close by. People on there are looking for a bargain and it’s ‘selling’ but in a low-key, unstructured way. People come and pick up the stuff they’ve agreed to collect and you get a pound or two for the pot.

Cash4Clothes is similar. Your clean and re-useable clothes and shoes are distributed to countries like Ukraine and Romania, so you’re doing some good whilst getting a few pennies (currently 45p per kilo) for your efforts.

Of course, there are networks such as Freecycle that might also enable you to pass things on.

Finally, see if you can find a local group that needs support with fundraising. Often, such groups will welcome things they can sell at car boot sales to help swell their funds.

Throwing Away

There is no such place as ‘away’. Throwing away really means disposing of stuff via landfill. If you can avoid this by identifying alternative options, like the ideas suggested above, so much the better. You’ll maybe put in a little more effort to achieve it, but by doing good, you’ll feel good. Plus, you’ll be a little lighter in the process.


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How do I get started?

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For the next two or three posts, I’m going to be doing a mini-series of quick-fire posts in response to questions I’ve had from readers and friends.

This week’s post is all about getting started.

The home office

Over Sunday morning coffee at The Almanack, my friend admitted that she needed a serious sort-out in her home office but really didn’t know where to start. Her daughter was using the space to do her morning make-up routine, plus the room was rammed full, but not necessarily with items that belonged there.

So, here are some handy tips if you’re keen to declutter a space like this; I’d be keen to know what works for you, too!

First, sweep the room

I don’t mean getting the sweeping brush out for this one! Simply, swoop in and remove anything from the room that shouldn’t be in there.

Take out the rubbish, the empty cups and the non-office items that have settled there. Immediately throw away, shred or donate things you don’t need. Do this as quickly as you can. Where possible, don’t relocate the items to another space unless you really have to. Let them go!

Second, re-home the misfits

Relocate things whose rightful home is elsewhere, including your daughter’s mirror, brushes, foundation, eyeshadow and so on. If they are going to share a corner of the office, make sure there’s somewhere for them to go when not being used.

If you’re finding it hard to be decisive about whether or not keep specific items, box them up. If you don’t retrieve them from the box within 21 days, let them go.

The key here is that you don’t want to be organising your belongings until you’ve done these first two stages.

Now organise

Once you have let go of the items that don’t live in the room, you can arrange your belongings. Try my solution for paperwork if you’re not sure what approach to take.

By all means, make use of fabulous storage systems that are readily available from places like IKEA. If the room is small, make sure you’re using the height in the space in the form of shelving.

Finally, make room for things that you’d enjoy having in the space. In my office at work, I have a bit of greenery (not all real!) and some artwork on the walls that makes the space a little more inviting. I have also softened my empty shelving with some bunting, attached to the front with drawing pins.

And if the view isn’t quite as dramatic as the one in the above picture, make sure your screensaver is the loveliest it can be.

Up next: How to get rid of things I don’t want to sell.


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The ‘bell curve’ of a minimalist’s home-buying journey

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This year, Mr G and have been married 21 years. Like many couples of our generation, we started small but then our home (and our belongings) grew, as we ‘upscaled’ through our first, second then third home.

I liken this to a classic bell curve. We started little and small, things got bigger, but now we are on our way back down the ‘bell curve hill’. Here’s our story.

A rented flat was home #1

Our first home was a modest rented flat in a purpose-built block that was equidistant from my work and my husband’s studies (he was doing his master’s at the time). I had started my first post-graduate job so was on a teacher’s starting salary. As a result, we didn’t have a lot of money so we managed accordingly.

For a wardrobe, we had a rail. For drawers, we used lidded blue and white striped cardboard boxes (all from Next). Our dining table and chairs were gifted to us, but we actually bought our own sofa (with cash!).

Our first ‘proper’ house came next

As soon as we had viewed our soon-to-be first ‘proper’ home, I remember exclaiming, “That’s my house!”

When I say ‘proper’ home, I mean one with a mortgage. Here in the UK, the obsession with home ownership has persisted over many decades. This has worked in our favour, as we have benefited from historically cheap mortgage rates, but it’s even harder for youngsters to get on the housing ladder these days.

On viewing this particular house, my other half sensibly urged me not to become too excited, but everything eventually worked out. We duly moved in during January 1999 and would own this home for the next 7 years.

This place was a modern two-up, two-down sweet little semi-detached house, set on the side of a hill, which included a large but steep back garden. In terms of living space, we had an entrance hall, kitchen and lounge/dining room downstairs. Upstairs, there were two bedrooms and a bathroom. That was it.

What we did have was a substantial loft space in the roof of this house, as well as a large adjoining garage with its own spacious loft….

The stork came calling

When our daughter, Amy, finally came along (a much longed-for baby), we continued to live in our tiny house until – eventually – we really did more space. We wanted to entertain. We wanted my parents to be able to come and stay over. We wanted a flat garden where our little girl could play. So, we decided to upscale.

Before moving to our next home, we sensibly uncluttered the garage loft of the baby items we no longer needed, but we nonetheless took a lot of stuff with us.

A sunshine house was house #2

Our next home was a 1960 design called a sunshine house. With enormous windows that were set into the corner of the building, it was a light and airy property. This house was a ‘project’, so we lived through the chaos of renovations whilst carrying on with daily life.

Since the man of the house now worked from home, our new third bedroom became his office. A ‘box room’ at the end of the landing was a fabulous space to store…. well… stuff. With shelves floor to ceiling, we could store toys, a filing cabinet, bags, old curtains (why??),  the vacuum cleaner.. and so much more. So, we did.

Our stuff, our little girl and our home was growing.

1800 square feet, anyone?

Whilst our sunshine house was lovely in so many ways, our tastes were changing. The trend to have an open kitchen/dining space was emerging and I certainly didn’t want to be hiding in the kitchen whilst family members were in the living room.

Our sunshine house was unsuitable for alteration or extension and we felt that we’d already improved the property as much as we could.

In addition, my parents – who live 90 miles away – were coming and staying with us fairly regularly. This involved the use of a sofa bed for Amy with us sleeping on her opened-out day bed. My parents occupied our room. But with only one bathroom, thing were pretty tight.

So, when a somewhat unloved, ex-rental property came up in a lovely cul-de-sac just a few minutes walk from our sunshine house, I could see its potential. I remember saying, “I could live here.”

And so, on the last day of Amy’s school summer term in 2012, we moved into our present home where we have lived for the last 6 years.

Enter decluttering

Here’s where my journey towards a minimalist lifestyle began.

When we moved to our current home, we had little need to take a long, hard look at our stuff. We were upscaling, so that meant that everything we brought with us had a home. What we found difficult to accommodate before had its own shelf, its own cupboard, its own drawer. Wonderful!

However, in 2014, I began to see that ‘tidy’ didn’t equal ‘minimal’. I wanted to clear the excess, dig into our carefully-stored belongings and see what we really owned.

I wanted to clear the excess, dig into our well-organised clutter and push the bell curve of our lives in the other direction.

Interestingly, when I drew an actual bell-curve in MS Excel to reflect on this journey, I noticed that that the top of the bell curve came around the 15 year point. That’s when my decluttering really began in earnest.

What did I unclutter?

Oh! The stuff you hold onto, just in case! The riding hat and accessories, Dorma quilt, cushion covers, electrical items, clothes, shoes, bags, sheet music, books, sentimental items…. Out it all went.

My ‘enough is enough’ moment

In 2016, my ‘enough is enough’ moment came when I made the intentional decision to change my life for good, following an intense period of stress and overwhelm. My decluttering efforts ramped up and I began blogging about what I was doing, as well as reading every source of useful information on minimalism and simple living.

Fast forward to 2018

Moderate minimalism is where we have settled. ‘Middle minimalism’ if you like.

Our shared living spaces are clutter-free, but our teen can be messy sometimes (although she loves a good declutter when the situation becomes critical).

As a moderate minimalist, I enjoy and appreciate the benefits of a simple living mindset, especially when it comes to domestic chores! But I don’t unclutter other family members’ stuff. Actually, by modelling decluttering myself, I seem to have taken my family members with me. Except the dog. He leaves his tennis balls all over the garden.

The family home-buying bell curve

The story of our home-buying journey has indeed ended up looking like a classic bell curve. We started with very little, then both our home and our stuff swelled, as our little family grew.

When I began to see that more and bigger was not necessarily better, the curve started dropping down on the other side, which is where we are now.

So, what next?

We are about to enter a new and interesting phase, as our daughter has just begun her first year of Sixth Form. When Amy goes off to university in 2 years’ time, maybe we can consider how we live all over again.

What I know is this: when we’re ready, the prospect of presenting our house for sale and actually making the move will be so much easier now. That wouldn’t have been the case if we’d held onto 21 years’ worth of stuff.

We won’t be burdened by needing to find somewhere to accommodate all our belongings. If we need to let stuff go, we will. We’ll be back at the baseline of our home-buying bell-curve and I’m happy that the prospect of that part of our journey is just in sight.


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‘Sex isn’t really what sells. What sells is fear’

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How many times have you glanced at the front cover of a glossy magazine, stared at an image on Instagram or gazed into a shop window and thought how well-curated, stylish and – well – downright sexy everything looks?

Luxury fabrics; girls with pearls dripping from their glossy lips; that ‘must have’ shade of mustard/aubergine/burgundy – it’s all there. But does it make you want to buy it?

Does sex sell?

The oh-so-shiny (and pricy) periodicals are always ahead of the game. Are you just about to sashay into September? The October issue of Vogue/Tatler/Harpers etc. is already on the shelf. Its mission is to persuade you to buy the next thing (and the next thing) and to get it first.

The Sunday supplements then reinforce the message on a weekly basis with their snappy articles entitled: “What’s hot now”; “What to wear this month”; or “The latest colour story for Autumn”.

All of this stuff looks so attractive, cute and highly fashionable. It looks sexy. But, does sex sell?

Well, no.

The title quote from this blog post is taken from Matt Haig’s Notes On A Nervous Planet, which I’m reading at the moment. What Haig says is this:

“Sex isn’t really what sells. What sells is fear.”

Oh.

What is this fear you speak of?

This ‘fear’ we’ve all seen – and been driven by – takes many forms:

  • Fear of not looking stylish, beautiful or fashionable enough
  • Fear of not seeming successful enough (or not appearing to move in the right circles)
  • Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
  • Fear of not being enough
  • Fear of loss

You can add your own fear to the list.

Have we succumbed to purchases through fear?

My most recent ‘fear’ purchase came about through fear of loss. In my last post, I mentioned that I had ‘won’ (bought – doh!) a bag via eBay. In fact, it wasn’t a terribly successful transaction but its motivation was definitely fear.

I had recently returned home to find my bus pass on the road at the bottom of our drive. I mus have pulled it out of my bag when rummaging for something else, but I hadn’t noticed its lightweight form dropping to the ground. I need this pass every day; just imagine if someone else had picked it up or I’d arrived at the bus stop only to discover it was missing?

My intended new bag was designed to mitigate this risk, as it had a small zip-up pocket on the exterior of the bag. In theory, my pass would be the only item to go into that little pocket, which would be zipped up firmly to ensure no future loss! You see? Fear…

Bigger purchases can also be driven by fear

Bigger, more substantive purchases can also be driven by fear.

Worried about turning up at business meetings not looking adequately successful in your old family estate car? That fear can literally drive you to purchasing a brand new, beyond-your-means vehicle that you don’t actually need and that will represent too great a chunk of your monthly outgoings. (Note – Dave Ramsey’s rule of thumb is this: never have anything with a motor that represents – in value – more than half your annual income).

The solution

Examine what drives your behaviour. Behaviour change is key if we’re going to get beyond fear-driven impulse purchases that lead to clutter (and even debt).

Think of all the categories in which you’re likely to spend for fear of missing out; for not seeming pretty enough; for not feeling as well-groomed as you would like; or simply for not being on top of the latest trends. As Autumn is just around the corner, this is another time of transition in how we look and what we wear. So, think about the following categories:

Make up

You know what suits you. Just buy that when it runs out.

If you do fancy a change of product, then do your homework before you buy. I’m about to go and have a make-up session at Trinny London (check out the results on Instagram after next Thursday afternoon!).

The reason I’m doing this is because I have read very good things about Trinny London products but really want to try them out properly before I buy. It’s also a fun thing to do with my 16 year old, before she goes back to school. I once treated myself to some make-up in SpaceNK where the helpful salesperson applied a little bit of product to a square inch of my cheek and declared the colour match to be perfect. It wasn’t.

Clothes

Don’t try and emulate the clothes of a friend whose style you admire. They won’t suit you and you’ll end up passing them onto someone else.

Need a wardrobe boost? Put Project 333 in to practice before you buy more.  In my case, that’s “Project 224” (I tend to change my wardrobe around every 2 months, using normally 24 items or less in that period). The weather – and notably the temperature – changes frequently in the UK. Although we’ve had an unusually prolonged hot spell this year, the end of August has seen temperatures drop back to a more usual level. This has led me to doing my habitual switch-around where summer clothes go and spend the winter in the little wardrobe in our study and the autumn/winter clothes begin to emerge from their enforced exile.

Accessories

Choose accessories that work in any season and buy quality over quantity. I’m not big on accessories, I have to admit. I used to work with a wonderful woman who knew how to wear a chunky necklace and who was never without a fabulous statement belt. That’s just not me. So, buy what you need and only buy what you’ll actually use (not what your ‘fantasy self’ or your best friend might wear.

Be not afraid

So, as the final Bank Holiday of the year becomes a memory, don’t be driven by fear.

Especially if you’re off to college or university or Sixth Form, remember that being you – and being your authentic self – is way better than trying to emulate someone else’s style, looks or bank balance. It’s much better than way and I promise you won’t miss out. So let’s get ‘Fear’ off the list once and for all.


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Why I’m calling it a day with eBay

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When you’re in the early stages of decluttering, it’s very likely you’ll discover lots of near-perfect items (or ‘gently used’ ones), which easily be sold online.

From clothing and accessories to electronics or children’s toys, sites such as eBay can be a brilliant way of moving stuff along to a home where it will be used and enjoyed. Plus, you’ll make a bit of cash in the process.

For my part, I’ve been a member of eBay for almost exactly 15 years. In that time, I’ve sold far more than I’ve bought, although I have purchased a few things. And it’s true that some have been better than others….

My eBay dashboard

My eBay profile tells me that I have 284 ratings and a mint green star. When it comes to gamification, I really don’t care very much what colour it is, but that star suggests I’m doing OK.

Nonetheless, I have made some mistakes over the years. I share them here, so that you can avoid them if you’re considering selling via this channel. If you’re a well-established e-Bayer, read on and enjoy a wry smile or two at my expense!

Mistakes I’ve made

Selling

  • Wrong description  – I once listed a well-used but perfectly decent laptop, believing that the box my husband had given me was the actual box for the device. It wasn’t. Instead, I had used the box of the device that had superseded the one to be sold.Lo and behold, my poor buyer (who was tech-savvy when I am not) realised my mistake and we quickly reached an amicable solution: He kept the machine but we agreed a sensible price for what it actually was versus what I thought I’d sold….
  • Inadequate packaging – If you’re going to send something breakable, make sure you use a lot of packaging. I tried to send an Orla Kiely ceramic bread bin to a buyer.  It should have been triple-wrapped in a wodge of bubble wrap, lovingly encased in several boxes, before being parcelled up in brown paper (taped a gazillion times with sturdy parcel tape). Instead, I sent it with only scant wrapping and a prayer in would arrive in one piece. Of course, it didn’t. 

    I should have been more accomplished at this stage in my eBay career. Needless to say, my buyer was justifiably disappointed and I swiftly provided a full refund. Here’s where you get hit by a ‘double whammy;’ eBay still charged its commission.

  • Accepting a buyer’s plea to have me despatch a bulky and large item by courier was another example of ‘not a terribly good idea’. We owned an electric piano, which was already secondhand when it came to us, but we sold it for a reasonable price on the basis that this would be Collection Only.
    The problem came when I discovered our winning-bidder was in Brighton. Did she realise that Kenilworth to Brighton would be a round-trip of over 300 miles? Our buyer, however, had other ideas. If she paid, would I send the instrument? Reluctantly, I agreed to do it, but there followed a rather chaotic sequence of events.

    First of all, the piano had to be despatched in two large packages. Cue Julie Andrews singing ‘My Favourite Things’. These packages were, indeed, brown paper and tied up with string. They were also extremely heavy, exceeding both the courier’s weight and size guidelines. Still, we (buyer and me) agreed to take the risk.

    Off went the parcels and we waited to see what would happen. By some miracle, some days later – in two separate consignments – the piano arrived at its destination. It turned out my buyer had been a past contestant in the Eurovision Song Contest, so I was bemused to have been able to contribute to her potential future musical adventures.

  • Calculating postage costs can be problematic. You have to be very focussed when it comes to understanding not only weight, but also volume. eBay provides estimates and guidance on this, but you can have some ‘fun’ trying to weigh a bulky item. My usual trick is to balance a large mixing bowl on my kitchen scales, then place the item to be posted on top of that. This way, you can usually view the weight easily. Remember to weigh the item once it has been wrapped; packaging can add to weight and volume.
  • Finally, seeing other stuff to buy when I should have been focussing on the selling has also been a feature of my experience with eBay. This leads me onto Buying.

Buying

  • Getting too attached to an item is a foolhardy thing to do. Some years ago, a “pine” wardrobe – located just up the road – turned out to be a terrible bit of tat (I should have “viewed it, before bidding…). Don’t get into a bidding war. Assess your item, put in your maximum bid and walk away. If you win it, you’ll find out soon enough.

More recently, I bought something whose quality was inadequately described, resulted in a ‘to and fro’ dialogue with the seller to persuade them to accept the item as a return. To me, this felt like a case of obfuscation; the item was in very poor condition and I was dismayed to see this on unpacking it. Happily, I have been able to return it with the (reluctant) agreement of the seller. Let’s hope I get my money back!

  • Clothes can be a mixed blessing when you buy them via eBay. I do advocate second hand but I should point out that there are some caveats associated with this. There are a great many reputable commercials sellers on there (who also sell directly via their own websites) e.g. Carobethany whom you can trust, as well as many super sellers of their own stuff. Look carefully at their feedback if you’re going to buy and only purchase brands whose quality and fit you can rely on.

Taking a rain check

So, to coincide with the change of British weather, I’m taking a raincheck with eBay. For now. Since we all acquire stuff we don’t need, it’s likely I’ll return to it some time in the future. But, for moment, we’ll let the sun set over this useful but rather complex way of letting go of stuff.

What’s your best way to get rid of clutter? Do you simply let go via the charity shop or doorstep collection? Perhaps you prefer a local selling platform such as Facebook? Do please share below. It would be fantastic to know what works for you.


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Things I’ve learned after 2 years of blogging about minimalism

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It’s been more than two years since I began blogging about minimalism and intentional living (and over four years since I began my own ‘Clearout of the Century’).

So, what I have learned in this time?

Stuff accumulates

You have to be relentless in your pursuit of an uncluttered life. Even if you’re being intentional about what you bring into your home or work space, other people still give you stuff. You also acquire stuff.

Stuff (of all kinds) lands on your doormat most days. This is a constant truth, no matter how vigilant or mindful you may be. Just as nature abhors a vacuum, so ‘stuff’ will seek its way into your home like a weed filling a crack in the pavement.

Decluttering is an ongoing de-layering process

I always describe decluttering as though you are peeling the layers of an onion. Once you’ve removed the outer layers, you may need to maintain some momentum to keep that sense of lightness and freedom that you’ve begun to enjoy.

So, when a charity collection bag drops through your letterbox, go to your ‘goods out’ drawer and fill it ready for collection.

Your needs change over time

You’ll remember that, back in the winter, I took the decision to go ‘car free‘. Instead of carrying a leather tote bag from car to office, I switched to a rucksack, also using my handy cross-body bag for my purse, bus pass, phone and so on.

Have I used my trusty leather tote? Of course not. And I’m not going to, so I’ve listed that on eBay. You need stuff to function, but if it’s not being used, let it go.

Things need a consistent home

Recently, I have been helping clear the home of a relative who has died. I was struck by how similar the contents were of many of the drawers that we emptied. Why hadn’t there been one drawer for X and another for Y? The answer to this will never be clear, but this experience taught me that:

  • Having one location for similar things means you won’t forget what you already have and end up buying duplicates (or triplicates!)
  • You’ll maximise the space you have if you keep similar things together; they sit well alongside each other in the drawer (especially if you store them using the KonMari method)
  • You won’t lose important documents, keys or information if you have a single place for items that go together. Check out my 3 S’s of Paperwork for some ideas about how to approach this.

Labelling avoids confusion and saves time

This reminds me. Keys must be labelled!

How often do you rummage through a drawer and come across a key for something…. but what? Label those keys, keep similar ones together (i.e. window keys) or use a distinctive key ring that everyone in the family recognises for a particular door or cupboard.

Go ‘all out’ or potter about – it’s up to you

For our recent foray into familial decluttering, there were 6 of us  working consistently to a plan. In the space of a few hours, we went all out to declutter 3 downstairs rooms. If one of us had been doing it, you can imagine that this task would not only have been daunting; it would have taken a whole working week. In fact, I spoke to a colleague of mine who had been doing a similar task in her parents’ bungalow; it had taken her 20 whole days…..

Since you may or may not have 5 family helpers on hand at any one time to declutter your home, I recommend the slower route. Pottering about the house can achieve very good results, but in a more mindful or leisurely way. American cousins, I believe you call this ‘puttering’. Whatever – you’ll achieve your goals and enjoy seeing your space free of clutter.

What you own really does own you

Whether it’s a work outfit that needs dry-cleaning or a car that needs fuel, new tyres or its annual service, the old adage is true: what you own owns you. The less you own, the less you have to worry about.

I can’t tell you what a joy it’s been to walk to the bus each morning, hop on, read my book or catch up with colleagues, then simply hop off on reaching work. Earlier this week, for my 5 mile journey, the bus arrived in Kenilworth at 07:41. I was on campus at the University where I work at 07:56. Brilliant! No need to find a parking space, no need to worry about traffic. Wonderful!

Minimalism impacts positively on other areas of your life

Whether it’s money, personal development, living in a more environmentally-conscious way or helping others, adopting a minimalist lifestyle can really make a difference in all areas of your life.

As I have written in previous blog posts such as this one, external clutter can point to something going on in your life beneath the surface. When you find you are able to let go, it’s possible to discover that living a life with less can really mean a whole lot more.


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The No Spend Weekend

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In the last few years, there have been a number of high-profile proponents of the full-on, no- holds-barred shopping ban.

A whole year of buying nothing

One of the most well-known is Cait Flanders who wrote about her year of buying nothing in her best-selling memoir, The Year of Less. I discussed Cait’s book when I compared the idea of a shopping ban to a written budget in a previous blog post here.

Writer Ann Patchett also had a year of no spending, which she wrote about in The New York TimesPatchett’s year without shopping enabled her to learn to live with “…the startling abundance that had become glaringly obvious when I stopped trying to get more.” She realised that she already had more than enough and was startled to realise how much time she could save by not actually shopping at all.

A shopping ban can be a really useful way to curb your spending, whilst helping you appreciate what you already have. If you’re paying down your debt Dave Ramsey style, it’s also an excellent way to throw extra money at Baby Step 2.

The “Allowed” list

When you decide to instigate a shopping ban, it helps to devise a set of rules. London-based journalist, Michelle McGagh, bought nothing in a 12 month period: no coffee, no cinema, no clothes and even no transport costs. She pressed her bicycle into service and lived on next to nothing for an entire year.

Writer Gretchen Rubin famously abstains from eating carbohydrates; if she doesn’t eat carbs, she doesn’t have to think about them. A little bit of something in moderation isn’t her style.

So, if you go down the road of a complete ban, you decide your own rules in terms of what is permissible and what is banned from your spending list. 

All or nothing

If you’re someone who needs to take an ‘all or nothing’ approach, a shopping ban might help if you’re trying to be more intentional with your spending.

If you can’t go out shopping without returning home laden with bags of merchandise you hadn’t planned to buy, the ‘all or nothing’ approach might be beneficial. Even better, by announcing your intention, you can also get accountability for your goals: your supporters will spur you on and help keep you on track.

What goes on your essential list is up to you, but it may provide a structured framework to your shopping ban if you decide to give it a go. Cait Flanders decided to allow herself to buy some useful (and very practical) things, including  – in the second year of her experiment – replacement items, essential toiletries and gifts for others.

No spend drawbacks

Initiating a shopping ban for such a lengthy time might bring some drawbacks, however, as Cait discovered during her year of less.

For example, so-called well-meaning ‘friends’ would try and tempt Cait to buy something she didn’t need, or which wasn’t on The Approved List. They reasoned that ‘she deserved it’ or that a little retail therapy was no bad thing. In fact, this was tantamount to offering a reformed smoker a cigarette, a dieter a wedge of chocolate fudge cake, or an alcoholic ‘just one’ drink. Happily for her, a handful of true friends were on hand to help keep Cait on track.

Another potential drawback of a shopping ban is that you also have to deal with situations that could send you off course. That is, if you’re working to achieve a specific financial goal, you’d need to avoid putting yourself in situations where you might blow your budget. For an abstainer, it has to be all or nothing.

As Cait writes, “The toughest part… was having to confront my triggers and change my reaction to them. It always felt like the minute I forgot about the shopping ban was the same minute I felt like shopping again.”

The no spend weekend

Is there another way, though?

You could try a ‘No Spend Day’ where you literally spend nothing, apart from essentials that are already in your budget. That may be relatively easy to do. But many of us, like me, are at their most spendthrift at the weekend.

As Hilly Janes admits in her book Latte or Cappuccino: 125 Decisions That Will Change Your Life, “We spend all week earning our crust so there’s nothing like a bit of retail therapy at the weekend to make those hours spent toiling at work seem worthwhile.”

Even if you’re not buying ‘stuff’ it’s still possible to fritter away your hard-earned cash if you’re not being intentional. So, I propose a ‘No Spend Weekend’ (which has a nice ring to it).

What happens on a ‘spendy’ weekend

Imagine that time period between Friday evening and Monday morning. What might you spend, if you weren’t being deliberate and intentional with your money?

At the end of a busy week, will you get dinner out or maybe purchase a meal deal from M&S or Waitrose? That’s at least £10 (or more) gone.

Saturday sees you nipping into town, where you pick up a few things you need. Oh, and there’s that coffee stop and the parking charges. Before you know it, you’ve spent a few more (tens of) pounds. You see where I’m going with this.

Sunday is probably the day when you go online at some point. It might be the day when you do your weekly food shop online or when you list things on eBay. But there’s always the risk that you’ll also ‘add to basket’ something that you see as you go about your business.

What a ‘no spend weekend’ could look like

Assuming you work a regular Monday – Friday week (sorry if you don’t), Friday evening could be a very good time to unwind at home, particularly if the weather is good and you can enjoy a meal al fresco. Historically, we always cleaned the house on a Friday evening, but have since resolved to bring this forward to Thursday, leaving Friday night for a more gentle slide into the weekend.

Saturday could therefore be a day to take things a little easier. We typically do a reasonably long dog walk, receive our online food shopping and enjoy some cooking (Enchiladas or Burritos are our favourite Saturday lunch these days). Every other week, I also volunteer with our little dog when we visit our local nursing home (we are Pets as Therapy volunteers). After all that, we usually chill out in the afternoon. See – no room for shopping!

On Sundays, my thoughts turn towards the working week. It’s great to get ahead with preparation for the days ahead but Sundays are also great for family time. And, depending on when your Sabbath falls, using a ‘no shopping on the Sabbath’ rule could support this initiative. And stay away from online shopping sites!!!

If you are going to spend

Remember that buying something or buying an experience will both give you a lift, but it’s the experience whose happy memories will stay with you long after you’ve forgotten anything you could have bought along the way. Buying something for someone else will also promote greater feelings of happiness than if you spent the money on yourself (great news if you’re not looking to bring more stuff into the home). And stick to a shopping list. That way, you’ll avoid impulse purchases.

Paying by cash is also a much better way to curb your spending. Going back to Hilly Janes’ Latte or Cappuccino, Janes reminds us that our brains register fewer negative feelings when using a card than when parting with physical cash. That’s why the envelope system for budgeting works well for people: you can literally see and feel how much you have left.

So, as you head towards this weekend (and I’m hoping you’re not going to be stuck in holiday getaway traffic this ‘frantic Friday’), will you consider a No Spend Weekend?


 

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